Late to the Party

I HATE BLOGGING. It's ego-driven masterbation, and yet here I sit on a Saturday night whacking it with the other guys. Or maybe not. I'm not sure people blog anymore. I'm about six or seven years late to this party which is normal for me. Starving kids in Africa had CD players before I did. I probably won't get a blueray player until jetpacks are a viable form of transportation. I didn't have sex until I got to college. (Ya hear that, Patsy George? I wasn't a whore, I just dressed like one! Judgemental bitch...)

Anyway, blogging. I'm a writer. I have a hard time sharing my opinion. I was raised to not rock the boat, to see everyone's side, to eat shit politely and say thank you for the meal. Because of this, sometimes I wait for cues on how to feel. Scratch that- I look for cues on how to react. And that's no way to live. I decided blogging would be a nice practice field to exercise my voice, speak out on things I care about, and stroke myself with the rest of the online world.

I had a whole rant on birthdays and birthday guest decorum, but I'm letting that slide- well, here: It's your friend's birthday? Make sure they have a good night, no matter what. Save your petty everyday BS for tomorrow- everyone has the right to one day of undeserved special treatment, this is theirs. Be on-time, chip in more than you should for the bill, and smile in the pictures. It sounds like a given, doesn't it? I wish it was.

The thing I'd rather address is the very group of people I'm joining- on-line posting people. I don't know what else to call us/you... the general public, I guess? Thanks to Facebook, Twitter, and the comment section after every article you read online, society has convinced you/me that every thought you/I have is precious and must be shared. I'm here to remind you/me, that this is crap. Less is more. Only one person cares about every thought you share on the internet- you. Even your mother doesn't care. Next time, think about what you write before you report to the world about grocery shopping or how much you hate Mondays. MUST you share? Be honest...
Keep thinking about it while I go change my status update to "Blogging!"
Kidding.
I'm gonna Tweet it. But see what I mean?