Let There Be Light

I'm in the midst of award-winning procrastination (cash prizes?? oh... sulk.) to keep from finishing the script revision I STAYED HOME ON A SATURDAY NIGHT to work on.

(I didn't fool you, did I? There's a reason this blog is called "Views From Saturday Night" and it has very little to do with leaving my apartment-hole.)

I know I already posted my Saturday view, but I can't not share. I have something to confess. Oh God, I've become a blogger. That was quick.

The first phase of Procrastination Mode is Eat. So I do. I eat everything I can get my hands on. I eat anything that will get me away from my computer and to the fridge/stove/microwave to slice/spoon/nuke so I can chomp/lick/slurp. In this particular instance, I was reheating some Campbell's Tomato Soup. Not super important to the story, but was super inportant to me at the time because I like soup.

I've got the soup dregs in my Wonder Woman coffee cup ("As lovely as Aphrodite, As wise as Athena"... oh, sister, I KNOW.), I open the microwave - Lights on, inside! - and slip the cup in. I'm about to close the microwave door- I see a knat flying around inside the microwave...

I don't so much pause as I do register the following thoughts, "hey-knat-where-did-you-come-from-what-are-you-doing-in-there-I-wonder-what-would-"

SLAM! The door shuts and my evil scientist hand punches 20 secs on high.

My conscience eeks out, "reeeeally...?" as I watch the knat fly around my Wonder Woman cup, almost energized by the radiation I'm subjecting it to. Ironically, I have this thought with about 5 seconds to go: "I'm standing awfully close to the microwave. This can't be good." The knat inside gives me the finger.

DING! My soup is done and the knat must be, too. 20 seconds on high took my 2 tablespoons of soup from cold to boiling. The knat couldn't possibly...

Oh, but she did. Wonder Woman, indeed. I pop open the micro door and out lilts my little Frankenstein monster. My conscience is still whining, "I can't believe we did thaaaat! We teach yogaaaa!" My evil scientist hand considers shutting the Franken-knat in again to see what a minute would do.

My conscience wins and I eat my soup. I comfort my conscience with the fact that payback is a bitch, and I've likely strengthened this knat's DNA with so much radiation that she will catapult up the evolutionary ladder. I expect the clouds of Franken-babies to descend on my kitchen in a couple days.